WE HAVE STATED in the previous chapter that backbiting is defined as speaking about a person in a way that they dislike, whether by the spoken word, writing, gesture or allusion with the eye, hand or head. The principle is that anything communicated to others about the shortcomings of a Muslim is ḥarām backbiting. This includes mentioning that he walks lame or with bowed head, or any other outer appearance that is thought of as signifying a physical defect. All this is unlawful, [a fact] about which there is no disagreement.
The same is true of an author mentioning a specific person in his book, saying: ‘So-and-so is like such-and-such,’ with the intention of belittling and disparaging him. This is ḥarām. If one wishes to explain another’s mistakes so that he may not be emulated, or to explain his weakness in knowledge so that others may not be deceived by him, or his word accepted, that is not backbiting but necessary sincere counsel for which one will be rewarded, if that was his intention.
Likewise, if an author or anyone else says ‘A people or group said this; but it is an error, mistaken ignorance and negligence’, that is not backbiting. Backbiting involves referring to a specific individual or group.
It is also backbiting to say ‘Some people did this, or some jurists, or some who claim knowledge, or some muftīs, or some who are considered right-acting or claim to be ascetics, or some who passed by us today, or someone we saw,’ or suchlike, if the person addressed can identify a specific person.
Also included is backbiting by jurists and religious people who insinuate backbiting that can be understood as readily if it were explicit. If somebody asks one of [these backbiters]: ‘How is So-and-so?’ he replies: ‘May Allah reform us,’ ‘May Allah forgive us,’ ‘May Allah reform him,’ ‘We ask Allah for well-being,’ ‘We praise Allah, Who has not tested us with going to see wrongdoers,’ ‘We seek Allah’s protection from greed,’ ‘May Allah protect us from lack of modesty,’ ‘May Allah relent towards us’, or any other expressions from which some defect in him can be inferred. All of that is ḥarām backbiting.
It is also backbiting to say: ‘So-and-so is put to trial with what all of us are tested with,’ ‘He has no way out of this,’ or ‘All of us do it.’ Those are examples. The general concept of backbiting is to make the person addressed understand the shortcomings of another person, as we have already seen. All this is known from the hadith in the Ṣaḥīḥ of Muslim and elsewhere, which we cited in the previous chapter, about the definition of backbiting. And Allah knows best.
LISTENING TO BACKBITING AND THE DUTY OF THE PERSON WHO HEARS SOMEONE BACKBITING SOMEONE ELSE
Know that just as backbiting is ḥarām for the slanderer to express, it is also ḥarām for the listener to listen to and endorse. It is imperative for anyone who hears somebody starting ḥarām backbiting to stop them, as long as he does not fear any obvious harm. If he fears harm, he should disapprove of it in his heart and withdraw from that gathering if he is able to. If he is able to condemn it with his tongue, or to interrupt the backbiting with some other conversation, it is compulsory for him to do so. If he does not do so, he will be disobedient. If he says with his tongue ‘Keep quiet’ but in his heart he desires it to continue, then as Abū Ḥāmid al-Ghazālī said: “That is hypocrisy, which does not absolve him of the sin. It is imperative that one hate it with his heart.” If one is forced to remain in a gathering in which there is backbiting and he is unable to condemn it, or he condemns it and it is not accepted from him and he is unable to withdraw, it is ḥarām for him to listen or pay attention to the backbiting. His way out is to remember Allah 
with his tongue and heart, or with his heart only, or to think about something else to prevent him from listening to it. It will not harm him, after that, if he hears it without listening and paying attention in the circumstances just described. If after that he is able to withdraw while they persist in backbiting and suchlike, it is compulsory for him to withdraw. Allah says: “When you see men engaged in vain discourse about Our Signs, turn away from them until they turn to a different subject. If Shayṭān ever makes you forget, then after remembering sit not in the company of those who do wrong.” [1].
with his tongue and heart, or with his heart only, or to think about something else to prevent him from listening to it. It will not harm him, after that, if he hears it without listening and paying attention in the circumstances just described. If after that he is able to withdraw while they persist in backbiting and suchlike, it is compulsory for him to withdraw. Allah says: “When you see men engaged in vain discourse about Our Signs, turn away from them until they turn to a different subject. If Shayṭān ever makes you forget, then after remembering sit not in the company of those who do wrong.” [1].
We relate that Ibrāhīm ibn Adham 
was invited to a wedding feast. He attended and [people] spoke about a man who was not present. They said, “He is boring.” Ibrāhīm said: “I have brought this upon myself by going to a place where people are slandered.” He went out, and did not eat for three days.
was invited to a wedding feast. He attended and [people] spoke about a man who was not present. They said, “He is boring.” Ibrāhīm said: “I have brought this upon myself by going to a place where people are slandered.” He went out, and did not eat for three days.Among the [verses] composed this subject is the following [in mutaqārib] [2].:
Guard your hearing from listening to ugliness
just as you guard your tongue against speaking it.
For listening to ugly things makes you a partner
with the one who utters it, so take note.
References
[1] Qur’ān 6:68.
[2] Mutaqārib is a poetical metre.