The prohibition of wailing over the deceased and crying out with the cries of the days of ignorance (before Islam)

We relate in the two Ṣaḥīḥs, from ‘Abdullāh ibn Mas‘ūd , who reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and cries out with the cries of the Days of Ignorance is not one of us.” ^[1].In a narration of Muslim it is “or cries out or tears” with “or”.

We relate in both Ṣaḥīḥs that Abū Mūsā al-Ash‘arī reported that the Messenger of Allah declared himself quit of women who raise their voices in wailing, shave their heads, or tear their clothes at the time of a calamity. ^[2].

I say that ṣāliqah is a woman who raises her voice while wailing, ḥāliqah is a woman who shaves her hair off in times of distress, and shāqqah is a woman who tears her clothes when a misfortune occurs, and all [these actions] are unlawful according to the agreement of the ‘ulamā’. Likewise, it is ḥarām to spread out the hair, ^[3].slap the face, scratch the face or call out in anguish.

We relate in the same Ṣaḥīḥs from Umm ‘Aṭiyyah , who said: “The Messenger of Allah made us vow not to wail.” ^[4].

We relate in the Ṣaḥīḥ of Muslim that Abū Hurayrah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “Two traits in people are kufr in them: defamation of lineage and loud wailing for the deceased.” ^[5].

We relate in the Sunan of Abū Dāwūd from Abū Sa‘īd al-Khudrī , who reported that the Messenger of Allah cursed hired mourners and those who listen to them. ^[6].

Know that niyāḥah means to raise the voice in nadb, and nadb is when the woman who is mourning vocally enumerates the merits of the deceased. Some say it means weeping over him while enumerating his merits.

Our [Shāfi‘ī] colleagues hold that it is forbidden to raise the voice in excessive weeping, but that weeping without lamentation and wailing is not ḥarām.

We relate in the Ṣaḥīḥs of both al-Bukhārī and Muslim from Ibn ‘Umar who reported that the Messenger of Allah visited Sa‘d ibn ‘Ubādah while he was sick. With him were ‘Abd ar-Raḥmān ibn ‘Awf, Sa‘d ibn Abī Waqqāṣ and ‘Abdullāh ibn Mas‘ūd . The Messenger of Allah wept. When the people saw the Messenger of Allah weeping, they wept. He said: “Will you not hear? Allah does not punish because of tears in the eyes or sadness of the heart; but He punishes because of this”—here he pointed to his tongue—“or He has mercy.” ^[7].

We relate in the same Ṣaḥīḥs that Usāmah ibn Zayd related that the Messenger of Allah picked up a son of his daughter who was dying. Tears flowed from the eyes of the Messenger of Allah . Sa‘d asked him: “What is this, Messenger of Allah?” He said: “This is the mercy that Allah puts in the hearts of His servants. Allah only has mercy on those of His servants who have mercy.” ^[8].

Ruḥamā’ (‘who have mercy’) either with naṣb (ruḥamā’a) or with raf‘ (ruḥamā’u). The naṣb means that it is the object of yarḥamu ‘has mercy’, whereas the raf‘ means that it is the predicate of inna and thus the mā has the sense of alladhī ‘the one who’ [i.e. ‘those of Allah’s servants to whom He will show mercy’].

We relate in the Ṣaḥīḥ of al-Bukhārī from Anas , who narrated that the Messenger of Allah came to his son Ibrāhīm while he was giving up his soul. Tears started to flow from the eyes of the Messenger of Allah . ‘Abd ar-Raḥmān ibn ‘Awf said: “You too, Messenger of Allah?” He said: “O Ibn ‘Awf, it is simply compassion.” Then he wept more tears and said: “The eyes shed tears and the heart is sad. We do not say anything except that which pleases our Lord, and we are saddened by your departure, Ibrāhīm.” ^[9].

Hadiths like those we have mentioned are numerous.

As for the ṣaḥīḥ hadith, “The deceased are punished because of the weeping of their family,” it is not to be interpreted literally and is not general. It has to be interpreted and the ‘ulamā’ disagree as to its interpretation. The most evident one—and Allah knows best—is that it only applies when the deceased is the cause of their weeping, either because he requested that they weep or for some other reason. I have collected all of that or most of it in the Book of Funerals in Sharḥ al-Muhadhdhab. And Allah knows best.

Our [Shāfi‘ī] colleagues say that it is permissible to weep before and after a death but it is better to do so beforehand, because of the ṣaḥīḥ hadith: “When she dies. . .then let not a weeping woman weep.” Ash-Shāfi‘ī and his colleagues hold that weeping after a death is disliked, but not to the extent of being forbidden. Hence, they interpreted the hadith “then let not a weeping woman weep” as meaning that it is disapproved of.